Who's your daddy?

Sweaty-peeps,

Mwwah. Ding-dong, Peris calling.

I am just about ready to blog my sweet l'il touche OFF people.

Here goes...(focus, Peris, focus...) I was just about to announce my world exclusive on Minnie 'Why Won't Anyone Do me' Driver - and her being pregnant when goddam - that chick went right ahead and beat me to it.

Ferme la bouche, alreadys, girlfriend!!!

Anyhows, she told Jay Leno on Friday's The Tonight Show that she was 'with child'.

But the Moaning Minnie kept mum on who the daddy was.

Ssshh, don't tell anyone. But when my aura cleanser and spiritualist advisor, Anne Teak, popped round for a tete-a-tentacle, through the joss-stick haze was a clearly visible outline of that Mindfreak dude, Criss Angel.

I couldn't believe it, schmuckos. I mean, sheesh - who the hell would want Brit-Brit's cast-offs? Maaaaan. This chick really is unlucky-in-love. As if it ain't enough to be dumped by Matt Damon on TV...

Anyroads, the only way we'll know if Minnie's child is truly the spawn of Magical Sea-Douche Criss Angel, is if it's born wearing no less than 55 necklaces.

If there's only 54, all bets are off until we get a DNA sample from Mr. T.

Kapeesh?

Till next time. Mwwaaah, Perisxxxxxxxxxxx