Auditions for the role of Tom Cruise’s beard!

Mwwah sweety-kins round the world,
Peris here!
And yes, that’s right.
To be the wife of the largest closet case in America, you have to be an A or B-lister, and STILL have to audition. Quelle horreur!
Anyroads, the gorgeous Katie Holmes was one of many actresses who were considered worthy to even audition for the role of Tom Cruise’s “wife", according to ex-Scientologist Marc Headley.
Headley - who used to produce promotional films for the “religion”, claims that the lovely Katie was set up for Cruise by Scientnutolgist, David Miscavige, after Cruise and Penelope Cruz broke up in 2004.
Headley told UK tabloid News of the World: "After that (breakup with Penelope Cruz), he started complaining to his best buddy David about his luck with girls."
I mean heck, c'mon people. I thought gay guys had a good rapport with women ??????
Headley revealed that Miscavige assigned a high-ranking official with the order: ‘Find a wife for Tom Cruise.’
A casting call went out to female actresses, including Scientologists, saying, ‘There’s an upcoming Tom Cruise movie you might get a part in. Come for an audition.’
But in the end no movie was made. Like, go figure!
They had to be single, they had to be pretty and in their 20s.
(Me and lil sis Nicky also got the Scienutella message on our ansaphone - but luckily, I was hooked up with Smeato at the time.)
Anyhows, first they rounded up Scientology gals like Erika Christensen, Erica Howard and Sofia Milos. But they were all rejected.
Cruise apparently really wanted Ben Affleck's squeeze, Jennifer Garner, but she’s not so dumb, and didn’t take the bait.
Headley told the News of the Screws: “They went for Jennifer Garner, Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Alba, in that order.
"They came up with the same plan. Jennifer and Jessica didn’t bite but Scarlett took the bait and came in for an audition.
"When she arrived at the audition address and found out it was the Scientology Center in Hollywood she freaked out and didn’t do a tape…
"So they worked the audition tape on Katie, got her to LA and introduced her to Tom.
"The moment he meets her, he’s enthralled with her and he told Miscavige later, ‘I knew immediately she was the one.’ "
I guarantee it’s because her hair matched his.
You, know. For his beard.
No word on how she was turned into a robot after the contract, err sorry, I meant marriage.
But watch this space sweat-pusses. Looks like Headley is singing like a canary.
Till next time,
Perisxxx